March 28, 1916
BACHELOR WANTS A WIFE
Has Home All Furnished, But Is Too Busy and Bashful to Go Courting
The Journal had a caller the other day, a clean-looking, middle-aged bachelor, industrious and temperate. He said he owned his home, a comfortable cottage, and has a good job. Remarked that he was tired of living alone and wanted some nice woman, not too old, for a wife.
Had thought of advertising in THE JOURNAL, as he had been informed that there are a number of desirable women in Fulton out of a job and ready and willing to embark on the matrimonial sea. Did not like the idea of that kind of publicity in the important business of getting married, but did not know any other way to make his wants known. He works every working day for a railroad company and pulls down a good-sized check each pay day. Has no opportunity to get acquainted in the regular way laid down in books of etiquette, and besides is too bashful to easily get acquainted with the opposite sex. If the editor could only name a nice single woman who wanted a good home comfortably furnished, and a husband who would devote his life to making her happy and comfortable, he would be very thankful, for he was tired of coming home to a cold house after a day’s work and having to prepare his own meals, and sit around alone during the evening and then crawl into bed, thinking that his life was not as happy as it might be if he had a loving wife.
We could not think of any unengaged woman that would make a logical candidate, so told him to leave his address and we would publish some kind of an article that might result in a sort of a leap year proposal that would bring him a good wife.
March 31, 1916
CHANCE FOR FORLORN BACHELOR
Communication to The Journal Is Evidence that There Are Spinsters Who, Like Barkis, “Are Willin’.”
The last issue of THE JOURNAL contained a lengthy account of a big, busy, bashful bachelor which aroused much interest and caused no little tribulation among the eligible spinsters of Fulton and vicinity.
A public meeting was held which was attended by a number who might be induced to accept the proposal of marriage of the aforesaid b.b.b. bachelor.
After much discussion, a committee of three on “ways and means” was appointed. It was decided that, while the ladies this year possess the inalienable right to propose marriage to this or any other mature specimen of the genus homo who still retains his liberty, they do not intend to make any rash propositions to be followed by a possible suit for breach of promise until they have looked over the candidate who had the inclination to get married but lacked the sand or courage to bring about the great desideratum.
The consensus of opinion is: if he means business, let him make his pronunciamento, declare his intentions over his name, when, through the committee on ways and means, an opportunity will be afforded him to make the acquaintance of a score or more of favorably impressed damsels who will then abide by the decision when he reaches his ultimatum.